A Post Without A Title

You may find this post has little point or no directional thread. Though I usually write from a place of sharing inspiration, this post may not be even that but perhaps it will be a jumping off point for some of you to begin to accept who you are and love the gifts you have been given.

I hear and see so much pain, fear and suffering these days. Facebook posts are either depressing or a fantasy of hope of good things to come. Some inspire telling us, in truth your good is here now. Stop looking ahead, behind and to either side to find it. It has always been with you and is there inside of you now.

I experience so much practicing energy awareness, if this is a proper term. I have become uncomfortable with the terms, healer, teacher, energy practitioner. It is as though these terms set me apart from others, when in truth we are all healers, teachers and practitioners. I find it arrogant to think my experience of the energy that surrounds us all is superior to the experiences of others.

So at this point in my life, I find I have no title. I have taken classes that offer me titles such as Stress Management Consultant, Book of Life Specialist, Delegate of the Light, Reiki Master..... none of which feel comfortable these days. Raised in the United Church, attending Catholic services for 10 years, studying Angels, Wicca, Shamanism, Energy Medicine and Reiki as well as varied holistic modalities over the past 25 years has provided me with a balance and blend of interesting beliefs.

I take note of what seems to make people happy. For some happiness comes in terms of money, for others it is their health, others look to their spouse or children to make them happy, children expect their parents to make them happy. For some happiness is elusive, completely related to how successful they feel in their jobs. Others use a happy exterior to cover the pain they carry inside. So what is happy? It is a question I have been asking for about 47 years now, as I made a youthful promise to make the world a happier place, if only I could be happy.

For years I blamed God, because I could not find this elusive attribute. I practiced the fake it til you make it approach, and after years of faking it realized that approach was just too much work with very little gain. Yes, I had moments. Moments when I thought, "This is it!" "I've made it.". Yet when I blinked it disappeared in an instant.

I knew I was happiest when outside with trees, birds, flowers and bright blue skies, and learned that shamanism was about finding our connection to Source through nature. The thought of Angels brought a feeling of peace, so I studied and experienced what they offered in terms of joy. Reiki fell into my life, giving me the experience of allowing energy to flow, without having to be in control. At first this was scary, for my control freak personality, but it became the catalyst for discovering that joy and happiness do not come from external sources, or events occurring around me. In fact I discovered happiness was easier to reach when I was alone. So how could I take this happiness of solitude out into the world?

In the process of taking it out into the world, I discovered I could not make others happy just because I had found that inner joy for myself. It is impossible to make another happy. This itself made me feel quite sad for a while, and in fact I still fall into helplessness at times when I see so much pain and suffering in the world. There are many reasons some just can't seem to find the sparkle in life. It may be clinical, drug induced, hormone related, and multiple medical reasons. For some it is a belief they are not worthy of happiness, and others just don't know what they would talk about if they had no reason to complain.

I understand many of the reasons, having experienced them for myself. I even understand those who now avoid me because they just can't handle someone being happy through loss and depressing economic times. I can only apologize. It is not that I do not have compassion for your misery. It is just I find more strength in faith and trust, than in pity and tears. Somewhat selfish perhaps.

For those who suffer for medical reasons I hold out hope you will find good therapies, the right medications to balance your hormones and chemistry. I pray you will continue to seek within to find the connection, helping you to be the joyful person you are inside. I support you in your acceptance of the life you have chosen. I commend you for sharing your journey so others will know they are not alone, and most all be inspired to seek help and support on their own journey. You are my heroes. I believe what many of you feel is a curse, is really a gift which Spirit knows you are strong enough to carry.

There are spaces reserved in my heart for those who are no longer with me in this life. I will not mourn their passing for I know they are still with me. I miss them, yes and yet recognize how much closer I can be with them than before they passed.

I do feel sympathy for the concerns people have right now for loss of jobs, loss of security. Or at least loss of the security they believe is important. Changing times are always scary when we believe houses, cars, boats, and bank accounts are what is important. (Personally, I am just checking to make sure I have enough money to buy plane fare to a beautiful beach. If I am homeless, I think a beach would be better than an unyielding sidewalk.) I say this not to make fun of your fear, but in all seriousness. There really is a bright side to be seen.

Those who used to sell horse and buggies must have suffered the same fear when cars became the newest means of travel. Our railways have lost significance to air travel. Many of our parents suffered the dirty 30's - even more significant is the fact that they survived. This generation also came through at least one if not two world wars and the Russian cold war. How many small farmers were engulfed by big farming operations, there way of life changed forever?

The biggest thing of note is SURVIVAL. It is what we do. We can choose to survive through suffering, or survive in thanks. We can move forward in faith and joy, choosing peace rather than greed and anger. We can inspire rather than try to bring others down, just because we are unhappy. We can support and work together.

No we can't make others happy, yet if we are happy our energy swirls through the atmosphere. If we are peace that too is carried on the wind. If we are strong in the face of our troubles, that strength will carry another.

So it is okay that I have no title. A title is not required. Making others happy is not my job. Being happy though is my responsibility. It is my choice. It is who I am. If I can inspire others to choose to be who they are, without embarrassment or apology, that is all that matters. You may be born to be peace, to be prosperity, to be the embodiment of health. You may be born to be the role model for those who struggle with health and happiness. It does not matter. Your label does not represent your goodness. Only what is inside and what you share with the world matters.

The more work I do as a "healer" and "teacher" the more I love and respect those who reach beyond the label the world has put on them. I see within each person I meet a spark of the Divine who has given us purpose through our creation. If only we could accept the part we were given to play, instead of constantly striving to play the parts of others.

Today I accept and allow myself to just be, knowing no matter what happens in the world, I will be guided and directed to do the next good thing I was created to do.

Thank you to all who have been part of this journey. May we continue to travel together learning from each other, inspiring and supporting through the best of times, yet to come.

And He Walks With Me and He Talks With Me

This experiment, along with a couple of miracles has changed my perception of the world almost to the point I feel as though I am in a different life time all together.

Where once I looked for a God somewhere in the unknown mist, I now look within to find the places I have resisted love, resisted my good. Now I look for memories of guilt and unworthiness and weed them out to make room for flowers to bloom.

It seems like yesterday and so long ago when I walked along a dusty road, listening for frogs, and felt the voice of Jesus talking to me, promising I would never be alone. I said I will follow you if you will just show me how to make this world a happier place for everyone.

I hated the sadness, the hurt, the anger. Our house was so full of fear. I see now it was fear though then I felt it was me creating all of the pain. Once again I see as I look through the looking glass, it was I, who as my experience, was the pain. I was the sadness. I was the fear. I had chosen this family for these lessons, for these moments of knowing life was not supposed to hurt like this.

Through an underlying current of love, I could not break the glass keeping us apart, so instead I let my heart break a little each day. It seemed that walk was just an illusion, a dream to ease just for a moment in time.

I still feel the joy as the frogs welcomed me to their world that warm summers night. I think of how often the memory held me up, kept me strong. I think of how often the memory made me more angry because I felt deserted, rejected, mocked for my innocent belief in something better, something magical.

I walked that road so many nights. Each time the frogs called out to me. Often butterflies joined me, teasing me to follow them into the fields, to see through their eyes. Yet I was not to hear the comforting voice again, for many years. Many tears were shed, yet here was still the comfort I sought. I desperately tried to feel that voice again.

But in the garden, on a nature walk, camping with family, there I could find peace, feel my place in life. Here I was free, still waiting for the voice to comfort me, yet feeling solace there. Perhaps I was not alone, perhaps no reason to feel so lost. Here was the happiness promised me, though fleeting as I returned to a world where people could not be made happy. What good was I to this world, if all I brought was disappointment and despair?

For years I rode the merry-go-round feeling a connection, feeling lost, knowing abundance, suffering loss. For years I thought I had found the mystery, only to find no clarity, no consistency. My daily intention to make the world a better place, to give a person a smile, security, love, seemed a losing battle. While for many days and often weeks I felt progress, it was only to follow with as much time feeling I had failed. Each time picking up the pieces, nevertheless when I felt like giving up there was a pressure inside of me so strong, I felt I might blow up before the world, leaving tiny bits of me strewn across the country side like leaves on a tree in fall.

I watched as leaves were carried from a tree and whipped across the sky and wondered how they must feel to be wrenched from their source. Is that what was scaring me - that I had been pulled from my Source with no way back. Each time I sat in quiet answers were given, but then I did not listen with my proper ears, or with my heart. Thoughts were just thoughts. No meaning then. But now........

And then the dream shattered my world, brought me to my senses. A dream that made my senses come fully alive.

Each time now when I go to a garden, take a nature walk or listen to the rain, I feel the voice. I hear a song I so often heard as a child. It is comfort. It is strength. It is faith. It is love.

The tears falling as I write this are of joy, knowing I have never been alone and forever and eternity, I will be carried by the greatest love this world will ever know. It was me all along, and now I know it must be me first, I carry my happiness with gratitude. A world cannot be made happy unless those in the world choose to be happy. With a sigh of relief I can share with all, knowing they are in charge of their own destiny and we all have the same gift within when we are ready to go to the garden alone.

If you are drawn to the garden, here is the song to which I dedicate this post, as well as to my mother and Aunty Clara, who taught me the joy found in flowers, and strawberry beds. In loving memory of my father, whose faith I only now understand,  I feature his beloved Hansa roses in the photo. Another reason I chose this family was to learn how close we really are to our Source. We are not like the trees whose leaves are torn from it's branches each fall. We are as strong as held as tightly as the pine trees that grew in the front yard, needles that are held season after season.
https://youtu.be/9aIhta9exts

Always know you are never alone. There is one who walks with you always.

Are You Ready For The Responsibilty

I decided I would share this blog with Facebook today. I was waiting until the book was complete, but that seems a long time coming. So much has happened since I wrote the first hypothesis, based on a dream.... Read the excerpt from the book here:  Introduction to the Hypothesis

I began to journal daily about this dream. As I wrote, I began to feel into the emotion of the dream. How could a God that didn't care produce such warm and welcoming energy.? How could a God that did not care provide such a protective feeling within me? What was I missing. I would pull myself together, ask for understanding, and carry on with my day. Through out that day and those that followed, I would continue to hear the same message each time I sought the guidance of my angels and guides. Finally I sat in meditation and my question for that session was, "What the heck?" (I didn't really say heck, but I'm trying to keep this clean)

The message that came in that meditation and later dreams is summed up in the hypothesis, and I write about further messages in my blogs and daily posts. God is not out there looking down on you. We use he or she to describe God, but God is really neither, but rather the same energy as you and I for we were created in "his" likeness. All of this sent me back to "A Course In Miracles", which I had closed the cover on for a few years, though I still remembered the lessons. This time I began to read the text. Many of my questions were answered there.

God is nothing we are not and we are nothing God is not. We are the creation of God, each of us a small cell of "his" being. To say you do not believe in God is to say you do not believe in your own existence. God cannot exist but through each of us. That is our oneness. We are all a spark in the Divine Energy of Creation.

All that happens in life is just that, life that happens. God does not sit in judgement of us. When life is good it is because we are connecting with our own divinity. When things seem bad, it is because we are not creating, expanding, growing, serving, or loving. That is all God can help with, he knows nothing else. Asking should I do this or that, when both choices are for the good of all, cannot be answered, except through your own decision. There are no wrong choices, unless they are leading to something that is less than love, being chosen through fear instead of grace.

For years, though I had a knowing that Jesus walked with me, I was not happy with the church or the interpretations of the scripture. I saw the words differently. I did not want a God who would punish me when I made mistakes. I also have authority issues, and prefer not to be stonewalled into doing something I don't want to do. Now I see that through these years I had the audacity to thing I was independent from this energy and at times believed I had more power and strength. In truth I was competing with God. Here is where you can have a good laugh. I have over the years since the dream, and each time I find myself competing, I see the humor in it, forgive myself for being an "idiot" and reclaim my alignment from within. Within is the only place God is - Within each person, animal, bird, fish, plant and situation.

So if the operations of God are in our hands, hearts and minds, can we be responsible enough to perform the duties we agreed to when we stood in line to choose a body for this game of life? Can we find God's thoughts, and express them as they are meant to be expressed? We were given all the tools, then sadly, had our memory of home erased, with faith from God that we would remember when the time was right. Is the time right for you? Are you ready to step into your greatness and loving power and be that which you are? Are you willing to take responsibility?

God gave man dominion over the earth, because we are his operations mangers. His business cannot run without us. While God Energy is more pure, strong and faithful than ours, he bestowed on his creations all that he is.  In numbers we match his energy, alone we can do nothing. He needs all of us to work on his behalf, in love.

I have not shared this previously because I was afraid people would see me differently. Who I Am has not changed (read "Don't Change For Heaven's Sake for a better understanding of the I Am principle) but what I choose to reflect in the world has.

Accepting responsibility does not ask for sacrifice or change of lifestyle, though life seems different. Taking responsibility will not bring more in material terms, though what you want becomes much different. Taking responsibility does not make you better than your neighbor, though some may become jealous of your new found sense of peace and joy. Taking responsibility is an inside job, and no one needs to know, except by your choosing.

The world needs more of us to accept our divinity. Only then can peace prevail.

You are a blessing in this world.
I Love You Thank You.

Ask And It Shall Be Given

What if you are the creation? What if you are seeking a "God" that only exists in and through you?"

How often have you prayed and felt your prayer wasn't answered? Did you take action on the unanswered prayer? How did you shift your perception to hear an answer or see the answer? Did you simply pray and then carry on with your life without doing something in the direction of the prayer?

You have heard the statement, "God helps those who help themselves." Now is the time to really understand the meaning of that. Begin by understanding the concept that "God doesn't care." God is nothing but Love and cannot, no matter how hard we try, do anything other than Love. This energy called "God" does not care if you are rich or poor, working or not working, sharing or not sharing. God does not care if you have a new car or new boat. God does not care if you are happy or sad, grieving or celebrating. Know now, God does not care - the energy of creation does not have the ability to judge your circumstance.

I am not saying, "Do not pray." I truly believe in prayer. But prayers can only be answered when you are willing to hear your prayer, believe that the prayer has activated Universal Energy, and agree to do your part in bringing about the petition you have made. Yes, often we get in the way of creating our good because we do not let the flow of activation move smoothly. We continue to push, or question our worth in having the prayer come true. There are times when surrender is required. But surrender is not giving up, which so often happens. We pray. The miracle doesn't happen in 24 hours, and so we say, "I surrender" and completely give up. It is not God who has not answered your prayer. It is you who has pushed your good away. True surrender is to let go of attachment to the actual outcome of the prayer, to know a Higher Power within you is directing the creation for your highest good. Often what we think we want is small in comparison to what the Universe wants for us. When we try to control the outcome too much, we lose the full gift of a miracle.

If you believe you deserve a thing, call upon the Universe for help, then take time each day to review that prayer, ask how you can be of service to the petition, follow your heart (not your head), taking small guided steps toward the creation of your desire. You cannot lose faith, either in yourself or the Universe.

Know that you are the creation, the power of creation lies within you, and you do deserve your desires, when they "create more for all and less for none". Know that the Energy of God can only work through you. You must stay present to your desires, detached from the actual outcome, but always focused on the feeling having your desire will create.

We ask for "stuff" in our prayers, but essentially we know it is not the specific thing we want. It is the feeling that comes with our idea of having something. We believe material goods solve our problems, but in reality it is the feeling that comes with a material thing that makes us smile, creates a better life, or solves the problem. The thing itself is just a symbol. Feelings are all that matter in the end.

Often our prayer is for selfish or less than creative means. These prayers are not of a loving nature. The Energy of God cannot intervene in deliverance. Those prayers are answered by a lower self and will always bring a consequence of pain and suffering. I urge you to stay away from this idea of creation.

So too, when our motives are not from a place of total love, we find our prayers and dreams are slow to manifest. Speed of creation comes from a high vibration. A high vibration comes from a place of desiring the highest and best for all in the world. When we come from a place of love our prayers are almost instantly gratified.

Begin to pay attention to what you are asking for, how you are asking for it, and how you are being in the flow of the creation of your desire. You are the creator. You are the one who can care about others, about life. That is your purpose. You were created to be that which God cannot be, in order to be that experience for the Energy that created you.

 "Ask and it shall be given."

YOU ARE HERE TO BE A CREATIVE EXPRESSION OF GOD.

I think the more you review the hypothesis of this blog, you may begin to agree that God cannot care about you unless you care about yourself. God does not exist except in and through you.

Believe in Yourself.   Love Yourself.   Trust Yourself.  Have Faith in Yourself.

LIFE IS AN EXPRESSION OF CREATION.

CREATION IS GOD.

YOU ARE HERE TO BE A CREATIVE EXPRESSION OF GOD.

Until we can fully embody this idea we will continue to look to outward circumstances as our reality. We will continue to blame an unseen force for our circumstances. We will continue to live in the muck and mire of our belief that God will rescue us, sending a miracle to lift us out of the demise we have created, without doing anything for ourselves.

  

Do you not see that God created ALL as an expression and as the instrument to perform miracles, and expand original creation?

  

Can you for just one moment allow yourself to be that creative, miraculous expression? Even in anger we are expressing God. In a moment of self-doubt we are expressing God. In times of deep desire we express the emotions and feelings that God alone cannot express. Whenever we feel with sincerity, act with integrity, love without condition, we light the world with all that God imagined.

There would be no need for war, murder, theft, addiction, grief, hatred, blame if we could all just feel into the truth of our creation. We all are provided for in equal, unbiased measure. We are all gifted with skills and talents as needed, when needed. We all have equal opportunity to live according to our desires, in a harm to none way.

God is not a physical being who will be found in seeking. There are many who have heard the voice of God, seen the Light of God or the Hand of God, but the only way God can be heard or seen is through the individual lens of each being. It is an inward realization, not an outward presence. We may get a glimpse of what feels physical through another being expressing the ideas and thoughts we perceive to be God, but these are the expression of another.

Each of us has been programmed through childhood, past lives and daily experiences. These programs affect our belief in God and what God is and isn't. Please take a moment to sit with this and know the truth.

You are the God you are seeking. In each moment you can choose to be the Light of God or the Shadow of God, but nothing can change your creation. You can choose to be a certain way. You can choose to be a certain expression of your Creator. As this living expression of God, you draw upon your desires, and your creative imagination becomes physical manifestation.

How many years have you spent praying to a God that never seems to answer? How often have you blamed God for the circumstances of your life?

Are you ready to take your rightful power and create your desires? If you are ready for the responsibility, take time to meditate, to pray, to become that which you are desiring. You are the miracle. Can you take responsibility?



Is It Surrender or Just Giving Up?

I find myself sitting with the hypothesis (the theme of this blog) and wonder about the difference between surrender and giving up. If God doesn't care, and cannot be manipulated, how does surrender work?

With desires formed and goals set, what happens when we surrender their manifestation to the Universe, to this Energy that provides growth and expansion? Why is it I feel like I am giving up more than just control over the outcome of my dreams? How do we know what is appropriate action and what is getting in the way of God's Plan?

I consider my thoughts and feelings. Are they in integrity to the service of the "God Within All"? Are my desires fulfilling the bigger picture? Am I providing the love and caring expression that the Energy of God cannot provide? Most of all do my dreams and ambitions create growth and expression for the "God Within" me? What is the real purpose of my choice? Am I choosing for social status or approval or am I choosing greater life for all, including myself.

I think sometimes we worry about our decisions out of fear that we are selfish, or that we are not following a socially acceptable path. We wonder if God is happy with our desires. We continually question our worthiness to have what we want. We wonder if we should want less or strive for more.

When our dreams to be continually just out of reach, we feel rejected. This is the point when many begin their own process of manipulation. Here is the time of taking back control, justifying it with the thought that God has not done "his" part, so we must do it on our own.

What if instead we looked within to why we are rejecting ourselves? What is it that is missing from the inner sanctum of our creative force? What is lacking within? What are we projecting that is not congruent with what we desire? What is the contradiction of what we have and what we desire to have?

Are we using God as the excuse for not having our dreams come true? If you answer yes, then you have given up. If you say no, and look deeper within for the answer you will find true surrender, adjust the inner sanctum and continue to work faithfully toward the dream, knowing all will come to those who serve in trust.

Self-Imposed Prison

Hell is our self-imposed prison. It is not somewhere we are going, it is where we live now. Those people you cannot abide, the situations you cannot forgive, the memories of past mistakes, these are the hell we create.

You pray for forgiveness, you cry out to your angels and to God for help. Then you go about your day, still mired in the depths of your despair. At the end of the day, you once again denounce your faith, by asking, "God why are you not answering my prayers?", "Why is my life still such a mess?"

But God is not out there waiting for your cries for help. This energy fulfills its destiny, creating what you feel, think and act upon. There is no human form of God outside yourself. You are the God you seek, and what have you done to bring a miracle?

Have you on this most depressing day, brought joy to others? Have you forgiven your brother and yourself? Have you changed your thoughts from "help me" to "who may I help?", or "how can I help myself?"

We can look upon our errors, our lack of understanding, our foolishness and loss and know we were teaching or learning a lesson. In a moment we can let go and surrender our pain. This then is the miracle we wait upon from an energy that only gives and expands. This energy we call God can only forgive what we forgive, can only resolve what we surrender, can only give what we gratefully give ourselves and others.

The energy of God does not know loss, pain, suffering or lack. It is our ego asking us to reach out to God that knows these things. Do not seek to kill the ego, nor to give into it's manifestations in your life. Let this part of you be the awareness of what you are not serving in this life. Where pain or guilt exist, go to your God Within and remove the thoughts and feelings that suck you dry. Fill yourself with love and know the love that created you.

Do not ask this invisible power to give you what you have been unable to give yourself. That is not how it works. God can only be what you would choose to be. You cannot manipulate this energy to your will. You must allow this Energy's Will to be yours and that Will is to expand, grow, and be all that is creative, abundant, prosperous and beautiful. For that is all God knows.

God does not understand when you ask for a miracle for all of life is a miracle, but first open yourself to that fact and the miracle will occur.