Have you ever had one of those nights when you went to bed, with ideas running through your head, worries laying heavily on your heart, your prayers filled with “God please help me?” The day might have been spent with desperate moments of “What do You want from me?” “If you were a loving God I would not be worrying. You would take care of this.” “Where are You when I need You?” Are any of these phrases familiar?
Here began the answer to my prayers and my questions.
A swirl of color circles round me. Engulfed in colors I had never seen before, feeling warm, embraced, filled with light. Am I glowing? Floating, going somewhere, but where? Who is with me? How is it that I am not falling? Wait – where is my body? What is this place of golden light? Spirals of color, silver or green? No, I look again, the light mingles and mixes and once again, I look, the color is forever changing. Shades of pink, laced with gold create a mist that somehow is supporting me as I hover weightlessly in space. Where is this place? I see no one, but I am not alone. Is this peace? Is this what pure love feels like? What is this sense of bliss? No words describe the feeling, the sounds, the lights, the colors. Have I heard that melody before? Where and when? I am safe, so comfortable here. Deep appreciation wells up as I allow the sound and colors to permeate my being. This is home! Why would I have ever left this place? What could possibly have convinced me to leave this for a physical body filled with confusion, chaos, and constant struggle? Where are my guides, my angels? Where is the voice of God? I call out without speaking, “Can you see me, can you hear me? Please with all this love surrounding me, I implore you to answer me.”
In an instant a startling message woke me from this peaceful dream. In the midst of the color and bliss, the words, “God doesn’t care”, came through loud and clear. Immediately awakened, I tried to close my eyes again, to drift back into the euphoria of color and sound. “God doesn’t care about what?” I asked.
Excerpt from "What If God Doesn't Care?"
At this point I drifted back into sleep. When I awoke in the morning I remembered the message given me and the dream. Quickly writing what I remembered from the dream, I spent several days meditating and pondering over the feelings and the message. How could God not care? I had spent most of my life confused about whether He was a loving God or one not to be reckoned with. It had never dawned on me that he wouldn't care.
This confusion often led me on a journey to discover God, but when it seemed I couldn't find the Illusive One, I would settle back into a practical life, until once again my curiosity was raised.
Several days after the dream, the hypothesis was created. I have spent two years questioning this perspective, journalling daily events and occurences, how my prayers are answered, why they are not answered and how my attitude and emotion control manifestation. I am ready to share what has been shown me. Knock and the door will be opened to you. Seek and you will find.
Writing this book has inspired me to find the sacred in all things, to seek within, and understand that all that exists come from within. The external is merely the physical manifestation of what we believe to be true.
Join me on this blog and this journey to discover your own God realization, and see if you are ready to take responsibility for all that you have expected God to do and be for you.
Writing this book has inspired me to find the sacred in all things, to seek within, and understand that all that exists come from within. The external is merely the physical manifestation of what we believe to be true.
Join me on this blog and this journey to discover your own God realization, and see if you are ready to take responsibility for all that you have expected God to do and be for you.
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